Are You Like Benny? Take Care of Your Truck

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Original (English) · read from the image, not independently checked

ARE YOU LIKE
Benny?
TAKE CARE OF
YOUR TRUCK
BE A CREDIT TO
AMERICA'S
ALERTMEN!
[imprint:] 5-11-42
THIS IS NO.8 IN A SERIES OF POSTERS ON
THE WRONG-DOINGS OF "BENNY THE BUNGLER". DON'T BE LIKE HIM!
[imprint:] PRODUCED BY
HEADQUARTERS
ANTIAIRCRAFT ARTILLERY COMMAND
EASTERN DEFENSE COMMAND
SANDERFORD JARMAN
MAJOR GENERAL, U.S. ARMY
COMMANDING
[left page, typeset story:] THE STORY OF BENNY THE BUNGLER
AGAIN 8-BALL BUNGLES WAY TO DOGHOUSE
THE STORY BEHIND POSTER NO. 8
Benny the Bungler was the topic of discussion between his Battery Commander and 1st Sgt. The question that puzzled them was, "What shall we do with Benny? We've put him on practically every job, but the result has always been the same--the job was bungled."
"Frankly," said the B.C., "that guy's got me stumped. I'm afraid to let him do anything that's got any sort of responsibility connected with it."
"Supposing we try a new angle," suggested the top-kick. "Let's ask him what he wants to do. Maybe if he does something he likes, he'll change his ways. The main trouble with Benny is he just doesn't care."
"O.K.," replied the B.C., "call him in and ask him."
So Benny was called into the office. "Benny," the B.C. began, "you've bungled every job we've ever given you. Now I'd like to know just what sort of work you'd like to do, without bungling it."
The eight-ball stroked his unshaven jaw. "This must be a gag," he thought. Finally he said, "I'd like to drive a truck again." He had a rather quizzical look on his face as he said it, for he was rather wary of the sergeant's answer.
The top-kick perked up rather suddenly. "Oh, no, you don't!"
"But, Sarge," pleaded Benny, "I promise you it won't happen again. I'll drive slow and obey all the traffic laws and everything. All the guys think I can't drive a truck, but if you give me another chance, I'll show them. I'll be so good they'll be sorry they ever ribbed me. Be a pal, Sarge."
Benny could really put on a great act when he wanted something, and this time he had a four-star hit. The top-kick was impressed by the bungler's apparent sincerity. "You win," said the sergeant, "you're getting what you want most. You asked for it, now do the job RIGHT for a change. No cowboying, no whistling at girls, and none of the other tricks you've shown before. And keep that truck in good shape."
Benny kept his promise for a while, but the old urge to let loose slowly kept creeping up on him. Finally, on one trip into town, he decided to do a little showing off. Nothing elaborate, like the show he once put on, but just enough to make him noticeable.
It had rained the night before, so Benny drove his truck through the numerous puddles on the road, and very often he would "shower" a car he might be passing on one of his trips through a water-loaded area.
Benny did cut down his performance to a minimum--for him--once he reached town. He only waved at every other girl, didn't pass any red lights, although he managed to sneak through a few caution signals, and he kept his speed down to about 40 miles an hour. And above all, he came back to camp without any more pleats in his fenders. They were already quite dented from numerous "meetings" with the garage when he backed his truck out, or put it in. He always complained that the doors were too narrow, although two trucks could go through the openings at the same time.
[right-hand column (the regimental inspection notice, Benny's idleness while the other drivers clean their trucks, the Battery Commander's discovery, the loss of his license and the closing scene at the doghouse) not transcribed, omitted for the 4000-character limit]